Why New Year’s Resolutions are Useless
I used to make New Year’s resolutions.
I don’t anymore.
Because I now realize that until I’m really in touch with how the root cause of the thing I’m trying to change is really providing some sort of payoff for me, then any attempt to make that change it is likely to fail.
And that leads to a downward vicious cycle that I don’t want to create for myself.
Recently I listened to a Brene Brown podcast where she was working with Lisa Lahey of Minds at Work. (see link at end). Lisa was helping Brene explore why she (Brene) continues to struggle with a behavior pattern that Brene claims she has wrestled with for years. One that she told Lisa she really wanted to change.
But lo and behold, at the core, Brene begins to unpack what’s going on underneath that’s really keeping her from changing her behavior.
How often we are blind to our own issues. Our unconscious stuff. The Immunity to Change process is a really powerful tool that can be used to self-discover the things that get in the way of making personal change – to help you explore the payoffs you are gaining from not changing. I encourage you to check it out at their website. (See link at end)
Making a decision to change one’s behavior is a personal decision.
Organizations spend a lot of time, money, and resources trying to get people to adopt changes.
But many forget this key point: People don’t change their behavior until they see/feel the true benefit for themself to make the change. Many will comply. And that unfortunately can look like a change in behavior.
But that’s not true change – the kind that gets truly “released” and gets into the core of the individual. That grabs the hearts and minds of the person and drives them to act towards the change.
So how do you get people to see the true benefit for themselves?
In organizations, employees care most about the relationship they have with their direct leader. How much do they trust that leader? How connected do they feel to that leader? How well does the leader really “see” them – the employee’s work and who they are.
Believe me, loyalty wells up for people when they truly trust their leader. And that comes with listening – for spoken and the unspoken needs and wants.
Do you want to be a leader who has direct reports that will run through walls for you? That would do anything you ask? That would make any change you want a core part of their work?
I might make an exception regarding New Year’s resolutions.
That is if it’s one where you as a leader commit yourself to a deeper exploration of your inner self to become that trusted leader.
The one that people will jump through hoops for.
References:
About Transformation Strategies
Founded by Tricia Steege in 2001, Transformation Strategies is a trusted coaching and consulting firm that assists its clients to realize their desired futures by partnering with them to create comprehensive change strategies and develop their leaders to accomplish real results. We specialize in shifting whole systems at one time by helping our clients think the way the whole system thinks.
