How Coaching Transformed One Leaders’s Reluctance to Give Feedback
Have you ever heard a leader say, “I don’t like giving feedback”? Most of us do not like giving feedback much less getting it. However, when leading a team and being held accountable for your team’s performance, being able to provide feedback against performance expectations is crucial to your success. Over the years in my coaching work with clients, I’ve noticed a pattern as to why leaders do not like giving feedback even when they’ve been adequately trained how to do it. There is a deeper root cause in play that blocks them from their own success.
Erica considered herself a strong manager having previously led highly successful teams, though she was currently plagued with giving feedback to her new team who were struggling to meet performance deadlines. While she recognized that many on the team lacked the required skill sets, what was more of a head scratcher for her was how much her reluctance to give feedback was controlling her ability to effectively lead.
My coaching approach aims to uncover the deeper “why’s in addition to the “what’s” of the individual’s behavior because it is in the discovery of the deeper, mostly unconscious commitments to oneself, that the individual uncovers the real reason “s/he doesn’t do what s/he wants and does do what s/he doesn’t want to do”. It is only at this root cause level that the individual can begin to change his/her behavior to transform their leadership effectiveness.
During the coaching process, Erica discovered that her self-commitments to being accepted, to not hurting others, of wanting to be the respected leader, were blocking her from moving forward. Though she had successfully provided feedback to her previous team, some life events that had recently occurred for her that were also impacting her ability to have feedback conversations. Once we worked through Erica’s additional worries and contributing commitments, she developed her action plan and began providing feedback effortlessly with remarkable results.
Coaching is a powerful tool for personal and professional growth. My coaching clients have told me that they have found significant value in the following ways:
- Deep Self-Reflection: They explore their underlying beliefs, assumptions, and fears that may be holding them back. They gain a deeper understanding of themselves and their behaviors.
- Identifying Hidden Barriers: They uncover the hidden unconscious barriers that prevent them from achieving their goals. These barriers are often rooted in deeply ingrained beliefs or past experiences. By bringing these barriers to light, individuals can begin to address them effectively.
- Building Accountability: My coaching framework builds accountability and helps them set clear goals and track their progress over time. They have found themselves able to stay motivated and committed to making lasting changes.
- Cultivating Empathy: They develop a deeper sense of empathy for themselves and others. By understanding their own struggles with change, they better empathize with the challenges faced by those around them.
- Encouraging Experimentation: My coaching process encourages individuals to experiment with new behaviors and ways of thinking. By taking small, manageable steps towards change, individuals can gradually build confidence and momentum, making it easier to overcome resistance and achieve their goals.
- Fostering Growth Mindset: Clients have developed a growth mindset, encouraging them to see their challenges as opportunities for learning and development. By reframing failure as a natural part of the change process, they have overcome fear and uncertainty and embraced change as a catalyst for their personal and professional growth.
Coaching helps individuals move through and gain freedom from whatever holds them captive. By promoting self-reflection, identifying hidden barriers, fostering accountability, empathy, experimentation, and a growth mindset, coaching empowers individuals to unlock their full potential and achieve meaningful, transformational change in their lives.
About Transformation Strategies
Founded by Tricia Steege in 2001, Transformation Strategies is a trusted change coaching and organizational performance consulting firm that assists its clients to realize their desired futures by partnering with them to create comprehensive change strategies and develop their leaders to accomplish real results. We specialize in shifting whole systems at one time and creating self-aware cultures.
